The dialogue on the group about attachment and detachment got some insightful answers….following conversation with Meena ji will bring further clarity to our views about detachment.

We often seek answers thinking about detachment and find ourselves getting half-baked answers. One has to first understand the reason for attachment only then we can move on to detachment.

One goes through life forming various relationships…some near and dear. This triggers expectations creating a set pattern of behaviors, like a mother is expected to behave in a certain way or a child is expected to have a set pattern of behavior etc… this causes everyone to fall in a certain category of expectations from each other. And when this does not happen one feels let down, burdened, sad and stuck…one starts holding others accountable for not meeting the set expectations of that relationship.

Or in another scenario, a set measure or a scale for the behavior of a particular individual is set in one’s mind….for example a husband/wife are supposed to do this or that for each other in a relationship and if this scale, standard or bar of behavior is not met then the other partner feels let down…creating anger blame and negativity. We are quick to put each other in a witness box and pass judgements about the behavior and expectations without first looking at our own selves first.

Attachments are self created…just as the story of ‘The Frog and Little Pond.’ The frog living in a tiny pond was always feeling stuck with his family and few other frogs around him. Then one day he took a great leap and pushed himself out of the tiny pond landing into a lake. Here he met other frog variety of fish and other creatures, he experienced new sights and sounds and felt an expansion within his being. He learnt new skills to adapt to the lake and in doing so he felt a sense of growth and joy. At times, he would become sad thinking of his companions of the little pond but he his sense of newness and mental expansion always overpowered his negative emotions. He was still very much attached to his family and companions of the little pond but this attachment did not feel like a burden as it earlier would. When he went back to the little pond for a visit his inner joy touched everyone around him and the frog felt a sense of detachment through his attachment.

When there is “to and fro” in our little ponds we create expectations attachments limitations and restraints for ourselves and others. Then each individual falls in a set category and has to stand up to the measure of performance within that relationship.

We don’t have to bring depression to ourselves by thinking about attachment and detachment instead work to change and evolve. We need to do our duty karm sincerely but without creating stress for ourselves because when we over do things or go out of the way to do something for others we also increase our bar of expectations and when this is not met we feel let down and hold others responsible for our shortcomings and pain.

Emotions turn to attachments when we stay limited to mine and thine within our little ponds. For example why just pray for your own child? Expand your prayers and pray for all the children around you, this expansion of thought will reduce your attachment with one particular individual and then the question of detachment does not arise!

Nature has given us emotions not to negate or renounce them, but to refine them, evolve and flourish through them. If these emotions or Raas were not required then Nature in its evolutionary process would have eliminated them. Emotions are gifts of nature and they are not to be renounced but to be channelized for our betterment and to help and serve others. When we channelize our emotions the question of attachment and hence detachment does not arise.

Pranam believes in the Laws of Nature where nothing is to be negated but channelized for betterment of oneself and the society, this is true Vedic Sanskriti of Bharat. Bring joy to yourself by spreading joy to others. Don’t limit yourself but expand your aura and flow like the river where water never stagnates. Make emotions your strength and give them a new direction for growth glory and grace.

Pranam OM OM OM 🙏

Meena Om
Noida
26th June 2020